06.07.2013, 22:14
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ПОКАЗАТЬ СПОЙЛЕР - Бейсик Инглиш Реквйрид
СКРЫТЬ СПОЙЛЕР
СКРЫТЬ СПОЙЛЕР
We take you now to the Oval Office...
President George W. Bush: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
National Security Advisor Condoleeza Rice: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
Bush: Great. Lay it on me.
Rice: Hu is the new leader of China.
Bush: That's what I want to know.
Rice: That's what I'm telling you.
Bush: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Rice: Yes.
Bush: I mean the fellow's name.
Rice: Hu.
Bush: The guy in China.
Rice: Hu.
Bush: The new leader of China.
Rice: Hu.
Bush: The Chinaman!
Rice: Hu is leading China.
Bush: Now whaddya asking me for?
Rice: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
Bush: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Rice: That's the man's name.
Bush: That's who's name?
Rice: Yes.
Bush: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Rice: Yes, sir.
Bush: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Rice: That's correct.
Bush: Then who is in China?
Rice: Yes, sir.
Bush: Yassir is in China?
Rice: No, sir.
Bush: Then who is?
Rice: Yes, sir.
Bush: Yassir?
Rice: No, sir.
Bush: Look, Rice. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Rice: Kofi?
Bush: No, thanks.
Rice: You want Kofi?
Bush: No.
Rice: You don't want Kofi.
Bush: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Rice: Yes, sir.
Bush: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Rice: Kofi?
Bush: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Rice: And call who?
Bush: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Rice: Hu is the guy in China.
Bush: Will you stay out of China?!
Rice: Yes, sir.
Bush: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Rice: Kofi.
Bush: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Rice picks up the phone.)
Rice: Rice, here.
Bush: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?
***
- Nationality?
- Russian
- Occupation?
- No, no! Just visiting.
***
-Do you speak English?
-Yes
-Name?
- Abdul al-Rhasib
-Sex?
-Three to five times a week.
-No, no...I mean male or female?
-Yes, male, female, sometimes camel.
- Holy cow!
- Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
- But isn’t it hostile?
- Horse style, doggy style, any style!
- Oh dear!
- No, no! Deer runs too fast..
В поезде, в одном купе едут немка, полька и одесситка. Вдруг немке показалось, что у неё пропали какие-то вещи. Поскольку она не говорила по-русски, а одесситка по-немецки, роль переводчика выполняла полька, которая немного знала оба языка. Немка(Н) просит узнать, не брала ли одесситка вещи. Одесситка(О) отвечает:
– Нужны они мне!
Полька(П) переводит:
– Она сказала, что они ей нужны.
(Н) – Пусть тогда заплатит.
(О) – АГА, Здравствуйте, я Ваша тётя!
(П) – Она говорит, что является Вашей родственницей.
(Н) – Пусть тогда заплатит хотя бы половину.
(О) – А хрена ей не надо?!
(П) – Она спрашивает, не возьмёте ли Вы долг овощами.